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by Sandy Pendleton, MFT
Sometimes fear,guilt, shame and embarrassment about any number
of problems including sexual issues can trap you in the darkness of despair,
desperation and even depression. All are famous for separating people from
their support systems and at times are quite capable of convincing you that
others would be better off, including you, if you weren't around anymore.
When life is too much you may find it impossible to find the words to express
your pain, let alone talk with your partner about your desires, sexual or
otherwise. Don't be fooled by the darkness of despair, there is help available.
Perhaps the only task you need to manage is asking for "Help!"
Help!
Friends are great, but sometimes it's best to talk with a professional who
knows the in's and out's of hurt and pain and how to help you navigate your way
through the darkness back to the clarity and wisdom of the light. If you are
haunted by events from the past, especially sexual traumas, it can be immensely
helpful to have a professional to walk with on the journey back to a richer,
fuller life. You may not know who to turn to or how to find help, so ask your
partner or your friends to help you connect with a qualified therapist. You may
even want them to make some calls for you or go with you to your
appointment(s).
Who's Qualified
All of the following professionals are trained and licensed to work with a full
range of mental health issues, including: depression, anxiety, grief/loss,
stress, crisis, abuse, trauma, domestic violence, eating disorders, addictions,
substance abuse, transition issues, divorce, ADHD, phobias and non-medical
sexual problems. In addition to generalized education in all of these areas,
each therapist will have more specific training and experience in some areas
and less in others, be sure to ask about their experience in your particular
area of concern.
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Marriage and Family Therapists
hold a Master's Degree and receive special training to deal with the effects
these issues have on the relationships and intimacy in your life. Don't let the
name of the license fool you, MFTs work not only with married couples and
families, but anyone, including individuals concerned about any relationship,
or lack thereof, in their life.
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Psychologists
have a PhD and are trained to administer and interpret various psychological
tests. They are also trained in counseling skills and are well-equipped to deal
with any of the above concerns.
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Psychiatrists
are MD's specializing in psychiatric medicine. While they may or may not
provide counseling services, most do hospital inpatient work and focus on
dispensing and monitoring medications that support psychological well-being.
All of these professionals are licensed by the state and held accountable by a
code of ethics and numerous laws pertaining to their practice. Any one of them
can help you step back from the problems you are facing, find a new perspective
and enlist your strengths to create viable solutions that will work for you.
Finding A Good Fit
It can be intimidating to make your first few calls. Try to remember that you
are the consumer, you need to find someone that resonates with you and your
values. You may want to ask around to get the name of someone who was helpful
to your friends or coworkers. Ask your doctor, contact your insurance company
for names of providers in your area or call someone out of the phone book. If
money is a problem, look for clinics or universities that have supervised
training facilities for pre-licensed therapists. Many offer low-fee services or
work on a sliding scale - some offering sessions for as low as $5 or $10/hour.
Invest In Yourself—You're Worth It
Don't be afraid to ask questions. You need to get a sense as to whether
or not you will be able to work with this person. You might want to talk to
several therapists before you decide. Look for someone who can help you see
yourself with new eyes, notice and celebrate even the smallest of steps,
especially when you can't see them for yourself. Remember how your mom said
you'd just know when you found the right someone? Trust your inner wisdom in
finding a therapist, too. Sometimes it helps to just start talking to someone,
if it doesn't seem like a good match after a session or two, keep looking until
you find someone you feel comfortable with. Remember this is your life and it
is worth the investment!
Check Back With Us Soon to Read the Following Articles:
Overcoming Overwhelm: Examining the
effect time crunches can have on your capacity and desire for lovemaking and
finding some fun, sexy ways to take a day off!
An Ideal Is No Deal: What kind of deal is being
all things-to all people-all the time? Exposing the Wonder Woman myth and
renegotiating expectations—in the nude.
Exploring Untapped Potential: Discover the
positive intent of discomfort in your life, finding the opportunity in your
burdens and being grateful for the little things.
If You Knew You Could Not Fail: What's missing?
Investing in your future, directing your own sexy movie and casting your
leading partner. |
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