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by Sandy
Pendleton, MFT
Sometimes fear,guilt, shame and embarrassment
about any number of problems including sexual issues can trap
you in the darkness of despair, desperation and even depression.
All are famous for separating people from their support systems
and at times are quite capable of convincing you that others
would be better off, including you, if you weren't around
anymore.
When life is too much you may find it impossible
to find the words to express your pain, let alone talk with
your partner about your desires, sexual or otherwise. Don't
be fooled by the darkness of despair, there is help available.
Perhaps the only task you need to manage is asking for "Help!"
Help!
Friends are great, but sometimes it's best to talk with a
professional who knows the in's and out's of hurt and pain
and how to help you navigate your way through the darkness
back to the clarity and wisdom of the light. If you are haunted
by events from the past, especially sexual traumas, it can
be immensely helpful to have a professional to walk with on
the journey back to a richer, fuller life. You may not know
who to turn to or how to find help, so ask your partner or
your friends to help you connect with a qualified therapist.
You may even want them to make some calls for you or go with
you to your appointment(s).
Who's Qualified
All of the following professionals are trained and licensed
to work with a full range of mental health issues, including:
depression, anxiety, grief/loss, stress, crisis, abuse, trauma,
domestic violence, eating disorders, addictions, substance
abuse, transition issues, divorce, ADHD, phobias and non-medical
sexual problems. In addition to generalized education in all
of these areas, each therapist will have more specific training
and experience in some areas and less in others, be sure to
ask about their experience in your particular area of concern.
- Marriage and Family Therapists
hold a Master's Degree and receive special training to
deal with the effects these issues have on the relationships
and intimacy in your life. Don't let the name of the license
fool you, MFTs work not only with married couples and
families, but anyone, including individuals concerned
about any relationship, or lack thereof, in their life.
- Psychologists have a PhD and are trained
to administer and interpret various psychological tests.
They are also trained in counseling skills and are well-equipped
to deal with any of the above concerns.
- Psychiatrists are MD's
specializing in psychiatric medicine. While they may or
may not provide counseling services, most do hospital
inpatient work and focus on dispensing and monitoring
medications that support psychological well-being.
All of these professionals are licensed by the state and held
accountable by a code of ethics and numerous laws pertaining
to their practice. Any one of them can help you step back
from the problems you are facing, find a new perspective and
enlist your strengths to create viable solutions that will
work for you.
Finding A Good Fit
It can be intimidating to make your first few calls. Try to
remember that you are the consumer, you need to find someone
that resonates with you and your values. You may want to ask
around to get the name of someone who was helpful to your
friends or coworkers. Ask your doctor, contact your insurance
company for names of providers in your area or call someone
out of the phone book. If money is a problem, look for clinics
or universities that have supervised training facilities for
pre-licensed therapists. Many offer low-fee services or work
on a sliding scale - some offering sessions for as low as
$5 or $10/hour.
Invest In Yourself—You're Worth It
Don't be afraid to ask questions. You need to get a
sense as to whether or not you will be able to work with this
person. You might want to talk to several therapists before
you decide. Look for someone who can help you see yourself
with new eyes, notice and celebrate even the smallest of steps,
especially when you can't see them for yourself. Remember
how your mom said you'd just know when you found the right
someone? Trust your inner wisdom in finding a therapist, too.
Sometimes it helps to just start talking to someone, if it
doesn't seem like a good match after a session or two, keep
looking until you find someone you feel comfortable with.
Remember this is your life and it is worth the investment!
Check Back With Us Soon to Read the
Following Articles:
Overcoming
Overwhelm: Examining the effect time crunches
can have on your capacity and desire for lovemaking
and finding some fun, sexy ways to take a day off!
An Ideal Is No Deal: What
kind of deal is being all things-to all people-all the
time? Exposing the Wonder Woman myth and renegotiating
expectations—in the nude.
Exploring Untapped Potential:
Discover the positive intent of discomfort in your life,
finding the opportunity in your burdens and being grateful
for the little things.
If You Knew You Could Not Fail:
What's missing? Investing in your future, directing
your own sexy movie and casting your leading partner. |
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