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Tasty Treats!
Add a little flavor to your love making! |
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by Sandy Pendleton, MFT
What used to be called the "blues" has become a chronic problem
in our go-go-go, do-do-do society these days. We've forgotten how to just BE.
We are constantly trying to do more, bigger and better than our counterparts to
the point of exhaustion and collapse. In a day and age where pills are offered
for everything, we pop our pills and keep on going. Not that some medications
can't be helpful, but if they mask the underlying aches of our desires then
what is the cost to our minds, bodies and spirits? Let's talk for a moment
about the effects on your sexuality.
How Long Has It Been?
Reflect back on the last few months or maybe even the last couple of years.
When was the last time you or you and your lover actually
stopped to smell the sweet fragrance of a rose?
Paused to bask in the soft pinks, deep magentas and radiant purples of a fall
sunset?
Lingered in a luxuriously abundant bubble bath surrounded by candlelight?
Lounged quietly, doing nothing but sipping wine or cider by the fire and
letting soft music caress your soul?
When was the last time you were able to fully recharge your battery–your
life energy battery that is?
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Too long you say? Then it's time to look at what is draining you
and holding you back.
Time Pressures
Overwhelm is an all-to-common problem these days. When you have a boss,
coworkers, a lover, kids, extended family, neighbors, friends and any number of
other associates all vying for your attention for almost every waking hour of
your day, is it any wonder that you have no time for these wonderful romantic
moments?
Running on empty for too long can be the culprit for lack of desire for any
activity, including sex. Who can feel sexy, let alone be excited about making
love when you are totally exhausted and can barely take your make-up off before
you drag yourself to bed at night?
Lack of time to truly devote to the act of lovemaking can also take its toll.
Quickies are fine on occasion, but who wants their sex life squeezed in between
carpools, long days and the endless "have to's" of our daily lives? Eventually
all the demands on our time can take us down the road to feeling as if we are
"Not enough." Without reprieve, it can lead to Depression.
Set aside some time to look at the big picture view of your life. Sometimes it
can be helpful to look at your schedule for a month at a time. Are there any
white space days, when nothing is scheduled? Are all your days filled with
routines or do they fill up on a daily basis with crisis firefighting? Consider
assigning priorities to your activities: A - Must
do's, B - Would really like to do,
C - Something that you can pass on to someone else or let slide in
the name of self-care.
Where is self-care in your to do list? At the bottom? Or did it not even make
it onto the list? Just like a car, your mind, body & spirit need fuel to keep
on running. Try creating fortune cookie size slips of paper and put one
self-care or nurturing activity on each one. Toss them into a fish bowl and
commit to pull one out on a regular basis; maybe once a week or after a
particularly stressful day. It could be as simple as reading a magazine or
taking a bubble bath or as exotic as planning a romantic get away with your
sweetie.
Take A Day Off
Have you ever considered taking a mental health day from work? If you could
take one day off for preventative measures instead of losing a week to a fever
and chills wouldn't that be better for everyone? What if you took time off to
just to rest, relax and rejuvenate? If there is still interest but just no time
what would it be like for you and your partner to take the day off and stay in
bed all day together? Even if you just slept in or talked, imagine what that
could do for both of you!
Check Back With Us Soon to Read the Following Articles:
An Ideal Is No Deal: What kind of
deal is being all things-to all people-all the time? Exposing the Wonder Woman
myth and renegotiating expectations—in the nude.
Exploring Untapped Potential: Discover the
positive intent of discomfort in your life, finding the opportunity in your
burdens and being grateful for the little things.
If You Knew You Could Not Fail: What's missing?
Investing in your future, directing your own sexy movie and casting your
leading partner. |
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