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Tasty Treats!
Add a little flavor to your love making! |
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by Sandy
Pendleton, MFT
Sit back, close your eyes and dream for
a moment. Contemplate this question, "If you knew you could
not fail, what would you attempt to do?" Let your mind
roam free in the land of possibilities. What might you try?
Who would you want to become? What is in your heart of hearts?
How might you feel if you succeeded in at least part of that
dream? What if it all came true? Would it be worth your investment
of effort?
Now think about what might be holding you back from your heart's
desire...is it :
- Unclear vision?
- Lack of direction?
- Seems too overwhelming?
- Don't have the means?
- Not sure about the "how to" aspects?
- Need some help or encouragement along the way?
- Not sure that your partner would support your efforts?
Perhaps some of your desires have to do with your own career direction or purpose in life. Others may be related to life with your partner or family. Maybe some of your secret dreams are of a playful or sexual nature. If you knew you could not fail how might you want to play more with your partner? What would you like to try? Would it open the doors to more fun? Closeness? Intimacy?
Maybe it is time to explore the fantasy together. Play the "what if" game with your partner. What if I wanted to …xyz? What would that be like for me? For you? How could we make that work? Even if it was only for a taste-test, it might be worth investing some time or energy to try things out.
Invest In Your Dreams
Think about committing one hour a week to pursuing your dream. That's only 8.5 minutes per day but it adds up to 52 hours in a year! What would your life be like if you had 52 hours a year devoted to making your secret passions a reality? Take the risk, give yourself 8.5 minutes today to do something different. There are many wonderful books that can guide you through the process of turning your dreams into reality.
Make the investment in some one-on-one time with your own inner wisdom. Journaling may provide an outlet for self-expression and reveal some wonderful new insights for creating a brighter tomorrow. Sometimes a picture says a thousand words. Try creating a collage of your dreams and secret desires. Leaf through some magazines and just pull out some pictures. Don't think too much about it, just pull it out if it strikes your fancy and glue it onto a large piece of paper. Step back and look at it from a distance. What do you see? Any themes? Surprises? Try doing it with your partner.
Directing Your Own Movie
Sit back and relax again for a moment. Allow yourself to run a movie of your heart's desire in your mind. Watch with a director's eye to see how the grand finale is just the culmination of many, many small scenes that allows the story of mystery, intrigue and anticipation to unfold from beginning to end. When you see all that goes into the plot line, you will see that every good story is just a series of baby steps, one step at a time! What baby steps do you need to take to create your great life story?
Casting Your Leading Man/Lady
When your desires are of a sexual nature, you might want to consider a love story in which case you'll need a leading man/lady. Is your partner willing to accept the part and take an active role in your movie? If they are the one who always decides when, where, how much and how to, are they willing to take direction from you? It might be fun for you to call the shots for a while.
If you are not completely comfortable directing your own movie
but you are both willing to get a little more adventurous
in bed, you might want to bring in some books
or movies to explore
some new ideas together. You could consider it research. If
and only if you are both interested and willing, you may even
want to make your own video! Just make sure you agree up front
what happens to the tape when you are done.
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